Everyone looks forward to the weekend. Yesterday when I was driving back from the vet (I had a horse cut her leg a little). I was trying to psych myself up for the weekend. I mean I wasn't trying to psych myself up for time off, no no. I was just think about how excited people get for the weekend, I mean other people. Like going out with their friends and maybe partying, and sleeping in on Saturday. So I am driving back and I am thinking about all the things the weekend means to these people. I don't know. I couldn't get into it. I use the weekend to watch oodles of television and block out the world until Adam gets online. I was really angry this morning so I went to the barn to ride a horse and feel better, because my horses are always so calming and comforting. However when I got there I felt sick and did some other stuff instead.
So Adam was supposed to be able to get online today, but he said he couldn't and we were both bummed, but I just smile sadly and say,"I love you and I will talk to you when I can. Don't worry I will be here when you get back." These last couple of days sleeping has been hard, lots of bad dreams. Fortunately the last couple days when I have had bad dreams, Adam has been there to comfort me in the morning. I have just been really lucky that way. I don't know what it is about me and bad dreams they really are horrid. I think being worried just manifests that way for me. :: shrugs:: Anyways, not much to say. Hope everyone is having a GREAT weekend! LOL sigh.
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Its been awhile since i've had a free minute to read. Things are soo crazy with work and school and my boyfriend is finally in washington. seems like those 10 extra hours really freak him out and the fights have been a constant. I try to be positive and remind myself that this is a "military relationship" and i try not to let the doubts and fears take over my mind, but its inevitable. he hasn't been able to or just hasn't called in a couple of days. i can't help but make up dramatic scenarios on what the reason is that i haven't heard from him. i guess i just didn't expect it to be this hard. i mean i love him he loves me...there should be no reason to argue over minute things. i took on 2 extra days working so the weekend is just another day now. i thought it would keep me occupied but my plan seems to have failed and i find my mind wandering all the time. people are always trying to get me to go out and go party but i feel like its my duty to not do that seeing as how my boyfriend (donald) isnt able to. i feel like im in the army now.... the days are long and the nights even longer seeing as how sleep has become a stranger to me. wow that was the most depressing comment ever. well im still enjoying your blog and praying for your anniv! have a good week!
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