Sunday, September 16, 2007

Acceptance

Being an army girlfriend is about acceptance. I think that God sits up there and laughs when he sees me every day. He sees me struggle with accepting what ever Adam and the army throws my way. I am not the kind of person who is a follower and just goes with the flow. I like to influence the flow.

When we started dating Adam said to me,"You can't get mad at me for things I can't control." What he means is, you have to accept the punches the army with throw if you want to date me. I agreed to do that. I agreed to accept his crazy schedules. I agreed to wake up at 2 am to talk to him.

You have to accept these things because if you don't you will go crazy. It's not like there is anything you can do to change it. I accept that when I get up in the morning and he is not online that I have to move forward with my day. I accept that he will get lonely and upset and that there won't be jack I can do to cheer him up. I accept that he will get really close to his army buddies in ways that we will never be close.

I get it that he is tired and misses me and is grumpy about something non-important. I am not going to apologize for living the way I do, but I do try to listen to his concerns even when the seem unreasonable to me. I don't he thinks that they are unreasonable. I accept that his doubts and fears are very real to him and that there isn't a whole lot I can do to ease those fears anymore than I already have. I understand that even though he doesn't always seem to appreciate the things I feel I would like to be appreciated for, he doesn't do it from a place of malice or ill will. You have to accept the Army and the lifestyle as best you can. If you love someone there you don't really have a choice. The Army doesn't give you a choice and neither does love. So you have to accept the person exactly as the come and with their army baggage whatever that may be.

5 comments:

Butthead said...

I'm sorry. I love you.

Unknown said...

People don't understand the emotional strain the military puts on every aspect of our lives. Good post, Jenna.

Anonymous said...

When people say that the soldiers pay the price for freedom, they leave out a very important person who also pays a price. YOU! It isn't easy loving a soldier. My heart is with you. Military wives and girlfriends pay a difficult price. Military girlfriends/wives are strong people. Not all who step on this path follow it to the end, and your soldier knows that. I admire you for hanging in there when it would be much easier to find another path. Its hard to walk the path where everyone else makes all the choices. Your devotion and love is the strength our soldiers lean on! Hooaah (as the miltiary says) for the ones left behind who keep the home fires burning and send the loving support back to the soldiers deployed. It means a lot to them, and it means a lot to the free people of the world, for military wives and girlfriends are the structural support our troops lean on when things are rough. Thanks Jenna and Lala, and all the others who wait for their soldiers in silent darkened bedrooms watching the computer screens for the small glimmers of love that crosses the sea from that sandbox.

Anonymous said...

Eh I can't figure these computer things out. It was from me.

Pam

Kayli Marie said...

yep, you're right! I don't think that people realize that we are in a relationship with the Military, not just a guy in it.