What Good May Come...

I was recently watching Signs, and in case you haven't seen the movie Mel Gibson plays a reverend who has lost his faith. His brother, played by Joaquin Phoenix, says, "Can't you be like you used to be [meaning he wants Mel to act like a reverend again]? I could use some comfort." Mel's character explains that there are two types of people in the world, one type that believe things happen for a reason and they can count on God. Phoenix professes his belief in that there is someone looking out for him in particular. Mel's character talks about type two who see life as a series of coincidences and they know they are on their own. Finally Phoenix asks, "What type are you?" and Mel smiles and says, "Are you comforted?" Phoenix concedes he is, and so Mel says,"Then what does it matter?"

I bring up this blurb because I was thinking about the blog I wanted to write today and the topic that came to mind related to that passage. I had a minor meltdown today of being tired of traveling alone, of being unsure about my place in the world and getting really angry about Adam being gone, to the point where I was almost ready to throw things.

Recently I have been talking to several friends about their long term commitments (relationships and marriages) and how they seem to be headed south. This really suprised me because I thought these people would stay together forever. They have children; they are committed. Apparently this is not so, nothing is written in stone. I mean I guess I do intuitively know that, but I thought they were above the "system" or what not.

I am the first type. I believe that things happen for a reason. Maybe Adam being gone makes us try harder and is setting up a better foundation for us in the long run. Maybe Adam being gone makes us have a better appreciation for the other. Maybe Adam being gone teaches us to compromise in ways we would have been inflexible for any other reason. Maybe if Adam hadn't been deployed we wouldn't have tried hard enough and we would have fallen apart again. I think that some of the above statements have some truth in them. Maybe I can find less to be angry and frustrated about, and more to appreciate. And in the long run if it did just turn out to be a coincidence, and all my reasons where just made up and I am alone: Would it matter? No probably not.