Friday, September 12, 2008

Deferring

In my walks of life , business, horses, military, whatever, people tend to give me advice or tell me how it is. Yesterday my farrier told me that in order to get my horses better about their feet I need to teach them to balance by tying up each of their feet one at a time for about 10 minutes each.... I agree they would stand better if they were balanced, but my 2 year old is still learning about having his feet picked up and that is not how I am going to teach him. I thought this was super shitty advice so I said to him,"Is that what you do with you young horses?" THere was a pregnant pause there and he said,"No actually my horses are bad because I don't have a ton of tiem to spend with them on their feet." He didn't even say I should do that, I could do that thats all he said.

So in light of this discovery I have decided that whenever anyone gives me advice I don't like or don't agree with I am going to ask them,"Is that what you did/do / are going to do?" and if it is they can tell me a story of how it worked for them. Otherwise they realize how stupid their comment is. I like advice, stories whatever. I don't want to be argumentative when I don't agree, or constantly nod and smile. I feel like I am selling out.

Adam cleaned the house the other day and it is SPOTLESS, and I love it. For some reason if I ask him to clean the house nicely, and I have to go some where, when I come home he has done a great job. Its pretty nice to know we don't only rely on my domestic skills. I left him a list of chores so when he came home I found a new list of chores for me. I think its great. We are really working to share the house hold duties. I think that's a good stride forward into the 21st century.

5 comments:

said...

Awesome idea and awesome loving ways between you guys. Enjoy your weekend sweetie!

Rebecca said...

I think this post shows what a great team you and Adam are. Clearly you guys work well together!
Thanks for the comments :)

Caitlin said...

It's great that you can work so well together...I know a lot of couples where the woman does eeeeeverything and the guy just doesn't get that he can help too. Yay 21st century! :)

Istari the Angel said...

I'm so glad that you and Adam are able to work together so well. It makes a huge difference knowing you can rely on him and have him come through, and that he feels the same about you.

As for the advice, that's a very good idea. Advice, as far as I can tell, comes from one's own experience, and since everyone's experience is different, what works for one person might not work for another. You can learn from someone's advice without following it, sometimes to do the opposite if the situation calls for it. People give it because they care, but you are the only one who can decide how you can use it (or not) to help you.

.... said...

Sounds like sound advise you are giving yourself in the area of others!!!

I think it's great that you and Adam are working so well with things.... was thinking of you today...just thought I'd pop by and let you know :D