Off!

I am leaving for Atlanta for a trade show this week. I am exhausted. Usually I get more help getting ready for shows. This week Adam has barely made it home in time to eat sleep and do it all again the next morning. This frustrates me to no end. He tries, he really tries-- it's not his fault at all. He tries to come home and be helpful and help me pick up the house and make and eat dinner. Really though-- all both of us want to do is just chill out and rest. Take a load off and relax. Not happening in this house, busy busy busy. It is going to have to slow down before he deploys.

I am so tired and I have a to do list 8 miles long this morning before I catch my flight. I have no idea how I am going to get it all done, but best foot forward. I am not really looking forward to his training days getting longer and longer, which I am sure they will. I am going to leave him a huge list of stuff to do while I am gone and maybe he will have time to get to some of it, if not I am definitely not stressing about it. I just had to take a brief minute blog, update, and get myself clearheaded and on track again.

Yesterday I was feeling pretty overwhelmed by everything and so at lunch I took one of our dogs for a brisk 30 minute hilly walk / hike and that seemed to calm me down considerably.

I am very forcibly making Adam stick to a budget that we agreed on, but being the enforcer all the time is a little exhausting. I gave him an earful last night about eating healthy and he seemed pretty dejected and while I felt bad, it isn't stuff we haven't discussed before. I know he doesn't need to hear that when he comes home and is tired, but by the same token, when does he have "time"? Sometimes these things come up at just inopportune times, and when I am as stressed out as he is, I don't have time to sugarcoat everything... Unfortunately, the reality is our life is stressful right now and while I don't want to focus on that so much and stress Adam out I need him to be aware that we have stuff to do and it's not all flowers and butterflies. Tough.

Anyways- I have been kind of grouchy lately and I hope that it "magically clears up" very soon. I am bummed about spending time away from Adam, because I miss him TERRIBLY when we are apart, but at the same time I have a lot of fun at yarn show selling yarn and meeting people. I like to see the reactions on their faces when they see my product. The best is when Adam comes to the yarn shows, but he rarely can get off to do that.

Toodle-loo

Here we go again!

How does the housework in your family? In ours, both and neither. I work pretty much full time and beyond and we all know Adam does as well. We do laundry when we have no clean clothes and do dishes when they pile up. I have been doing some massive cooking and some cleaning and Adam pitches in around the edge, but Go--am, our house is always a mess!

I hate hate hate it. Can't bring people over because that would involve cleaning the house. We try, and we do a big once through of the house, but we are limited about how much trash we are allowed to throw out each week. It is so expensive to get rid of trash here I can see why people let the trash build up around the house.

My other problem is, I never really fully move into a house, I know I am going to have to move again. Which is why I am being such a pain about wanting to buy my next house. Then I can take out the stupid shit the people before me left behind. The house we are in has too many wall and too many tiny closets that you can barely put anything in.

Adam and I are both the "go" people--we are always going going going. Add to the fun of we are always constantly looking for stuff. We use but don't always put it back. Yesterday I asked Adam if he could help with some housework and he looked at me and said,"Myna, I have to have downtime sometime." He is right, he just came off a 24 hour CQ shift and he has had a chance to relax since the weekend before when we ran errands all weekend. It's been a zoo.

It's just overwhelming really. Sigh, anyways I have to do some real work. Yesterday I worked until 7:3o at night and I came and Adam had fallen asleep playing pokemon with no dinner.

How do you guys manage this stuff?

Second

When you are in the army life you are second. It is the way it is, the way it turns out at the end of the day. No matter what they say or promise or do. You are second, just like Non-Essential Equipment says in her intro. We are non essential.

Tonight we were sitting around the desk at CQ and the boys were talking about how the wives don't get it. On one level they are right, no matter how many books I read, shows I watch, questions I ask, I will never get it. Whatever it is. I get that "in the field" means they can't see you even if they are only 10 miles away. CQ means they can't be distracted and they can't leave the desk. I get it.

But then when is OUR time? When is our time not ruled by the army? When is the non arbitrary/stupidness time? Not now. Later maybe, but don't hold your breath. I am not angry, just observing. It is not about getting it, we don't get it because we don't to get it. No one wants to sit home alone at night, soldiers find ways to bend rules to keep wives happy, to keep peace on the homefront. In general, no we don't get it, because I for one, don't want to be reminded every second of every day, that I am the not main part of his life. I am the second part and for right now no matter how much either of us wish or don't to be true it is a reality. His army people spend more waking hours with him then I do as a general rule. Maybe some day this will be different for us.

Everytime I hear a civilian complain about their lives I jsut want to smack them across their face. You are choosing your lives. We are choosing as well, our choices are more limited and often have more serious consequences. When you marry into an army life youa re choosing the unfair life. The life where his job take precedence over your lives. So be ready. I get it. I don't want to get it, but I think I do for the most part.

So the "I do"

So we rented this Beachhouse is Hoodsport, WA because it was recommended to us and CHEEAPP! When we got there we were pleasantly surprised to find it was gorgeous. All wood interior (well you will see the the pictures). Very campy and homey feel. We thought it was perfect all around. It is right on the water with a glassed in front. We ended up getting married on the equinox, March 21st, which I thought was really cool. Adam and I do balance each other out.

So we go for the pre wedding meeting, and Adam doesn't watch Wedding shows so he doesn't really understand how it generally goes. We decide to do appetizers instead of a still down meal, so I am trying to pick finger foods, and Adam wants Mac and Cheese. I say, "Adam you can't eat Mac and cheese with your hands at a Wedding." But the planner says she will try and work it in. So we are looking around and there is a fire place, and she says we can have a fire ( I ended up forgetting the skewers for smores). Adam says,"We should have the ceremony at High tide!" Both the officiant and I look at him and say,"What!?!?!" That could be at like 3 am...." So my little sister Cheyenne was there and I was saying the wedding should take place at 3 pm and Adam wanted it at 4 pm, he looked at me pleadingly and said,"Can we compromise and have it at 3:30?" So I looked at him and said,"Sure." Everyone Came -Even Scout! (picture Above)

Cheyenne was very confused, "What difference does it make 3:30 or 3?" and the planner and I looked at each other, and then looked at Adam and I said,"Now Adam has helped plan some part of the wedding by choosing the wedding time, we will at least let him have that." It was very funny. At another point we were talking about how to seat people at the wedding and I said,"Let's just push all the tables together and make one big table," and then Adam said,"Yeah think picnic, not wedding." It was very funny.
Here is the "picnic not wedding" (picture above)


Adam loves martinelli, which is that sparkling apple cider (for the kids for the toasts) and it was on sale at WalMart by the case. So we bought a case of it for the wedding and Adam proceeded to taste it a little bit everyday before the wedding. Fortunately we had bought a case.

So we get there and it is beautiful and sunny and the guys are talking about Adam's mini and the girls are hanging out. I steal away my Dad to have some Jenna- Dad time. Everyone's excited. Adam and his mini (left/above)

Us "at the alter" - Melissa has my Bouquet
Then everyone shows up and we get dressed and the whole thing begins. I had a bouquet of tulips, they were very pretty. Tulips are my favorite flower, in fact Adam brought me some before the wedding.We when and stood at the altar and immediately started to cry. Typical Jenna. The officiant said, "Don't cry, or I will cry too". We sad out vows and exchanged rings. It was a pretty long ceremony, it was sweet, but I found myself thinking,"How much longer do I have to not cry?"When it was time for Adam to put on my ring his had was shaking so badly, it was cute. Then we kissed and had a small party.

Adam and I Right After the Ceremony


Adam doesn't like to dance so instead we bought tons of board games for everyone to hang out and play (like Apples to Apples). WE brought coloring books and crayons and Rock Em Sock Em and just all kinds of fun stuff. Everyone played Apples to Apples for long time.



We ate a little bit and then we cut the cake. I was going to smoosh cake on Adam's face when we did the cake, but he ate it to quick, as soon as it was in his mouth he grabbed it! Then he proceeded to smear frosting all over my face. :( I am sad that I missed my opportunity to smoosh him in the face with cake. In the picture to the right I just found out we were going to cut the cake and I was scheming. The cake is at the top of the picture. The top layer was Vanilla with raspberry filling and the bottom was Chocolate with Peanut Butter filling. SOOO GOOOOD. I highly recommend the chocolate peanut butter. I did that because Adam doesn't like cake, but loves Reeses. So I thought that maybe he would like that. The planner had never had a request for it and had to ask the baker if she could do it, but I bet the baker uses that combo again

Then we did toasts and everyone did very kind, thoughtful, loving toasts. My Dad, My Mom, Adam's brother Eric, a family friend Tom and Adam's Stepfather Harry. It really was perfect. I couldn't have wished for a better day with better people.

Me At the End of the Day

The Furries! -- Backpost #3

So if you have ever seen that CSI, you should know it's not that kind of furry.

Back in December, my Mom gave us one of her dogs named Scouter. He is a 3 year old tri color black sheltie. He is a sweetie. He grew up in a house with 2 other dogs and so we figured he was kind of lonely. So we decided to get a companion sheltie. So we started looking. Not very many dogs in our area. So finally we found one we liked in Arizona and we put a deposit down. About a day later my Mom called and she had purchase a puppy for me and told me to go pick it up. So now I have two puppies and Scouter. They couldn't be more different either. Mac is an "over the breed standard" bi Black (he looks like a order collie) and he is huge and cuddly. He weighs about 25 lbs right now maybe more. Shelby ( original name Cocoa) is an "under the breed standard" dog and she is a sable (think Lassie) and she weighs about 6 lbs.

Both puppies are about 16 weeks ( Mac being two weeks older) so are at an age where they are easier to housetrain. There were a lot of accidents in the beginning (thank you Adam's Mom for the steam cleaner), but we have been accident free for 2 days! They are pretty damn cute. Adam has been in the field so Jenna has been potty training them. This sometimes involves getting up at 2 am if a puppy wants to go out. I love them dearly though.

The FRG -- Backpost #1

OMG -- So a couple weeks back we went to a frg meeting on post. It was the Wednesday before we got married.

Adam warning me and prepping me for the meeting, "There will be someone our age (24) that has at least 5 kids. You have to be nice to the big cheese, DO NOT use the term butter bar, he will not think its funny."

I was like okay I am ready for anything. I was wrong. Adam and I were the only couple in the whole freaking room not married, I was a little embarressed. It seemed like most of the other wives knew each other. That was okay, I was still okay at that point. They talked about the training and the deployment and gave me a copy of Adam's schedule, which was good. At least he doesn't have to hear me complain about it, when the army gives me a schedule I know there is no way he can get out of it.

So apparently many of the women had requested to find our more about the educational programs available to them so they had a Army Educational Councilor Service Person Helper Teacher Dude (AECSPHTD --look my first army acronym aren't you proud?) come to speak with us. So he asks how many graduated highs school, pretty much everyone raises their hand, then who has had some college (several hands go down), who has a degree (pretty much all but two hands go down- mine and a woman about 3 seats down). So the AECSPHTDude says to her, oh what did you get your degree in and what do you do now? She said, "I have a degree in Biochem from the University of Washington and I teach junior high math and science". He wanted to know if she had a masters, turned out not, and told she could get her credentials through the Army if she wanted. She pointed out it wold be hard to do a masters program with a hubby deployed, 2 small children and working full time. He was kind of pushy.

He turns to me,"What did you get your degree in?" "I doubled majored in computer science and biology and know I run a small business." I replied.

Then he said it:"It is interesting that you both got such techincal degrees and then didn't do anything with them." If looks could kill, he would be dead. Adam looked over at me and gave me the "Jenna be good" look so I smiled, looked down at my knitting, and took a deep breath and remembered we were there for Adam.

Several Thoughts about the comment that I couldn't say at the meeting, but I sure as hell can say here:
Who the hell do you think you are? What did you get your degree in and what is it you tell people you do at the ripe age of 50? I bet your Mother in Law loves to hear about your fantastic job.
Obviously, all of us milspouses married for the money and prestige.
Finally, what the fuck sort of amazing techy job are we supposed to get where we move every year or so? I am sure our employers will just think thats a great deal.
I was so pissed, but I let go, I just realized he has no idea what is coming out of his mouth.

Oh and by the way, the couple sitting in front of us was prego with kid numbero 5. I am so glad Adam and I don't have any kids yet, it is one thing for me to be sad during a deployment, but I think being a single Mom while he was away and trying to comfort the kids would be too much for me to handle. I know lots of people do it, but wow, not for me, at least not now.

Sparkly and I do

I have been hiding. I have been wanting to write in my blog, but not wanting to acknowledge the very real fact that Adam is going and I am going to need all you guys again. I am going to sit in front of my computer at night (with my 3 dogs) and miss him like crazy. Maybe I will be in a better area and make more friends. I am hoping for that.

Anyways. Once I found out he was going and became rational again, my first thought was I am not doing this again as "the girlfriend." So I turned to Adam and said,"If you are going back I think we should get married." He said,"Okay, when?" I smiled and said,"As soon as possible." So a good friend of ours had gone to the court house and just married. No hulabaloo no nothing. So I told my Dad I was getting married in a week and he freaked out. "At least wait until I can come!" he said. So I realized at that point that I was going to have to invite other people. I knew Adam's Mom would really want to be there, and probably my Mom too. My Mom insisted that it be on a weekend because she couldn't be there on a Friday. Then Adam's family offered to throw a rehearsal dinner" and we said sure. At one point Adam and I were getting out of the car, as I was trying to figure out how to do a Saturday wedding on short notice and find a suitable restaurant for the dinner, and I turned to Adam and said,"This has turned into a thing!!!!" He laughed and said, "Yes it has."

So that he proposed to me with a ring that had been a family heirloom piece and it is sooo very beautiful. ( I have a picture of it I will post it at some point). So I found an officiant and she knew place and said she could put the whole wedding together for under $1000. She knew a baker that could do a great fondant cake for a good price.

We went to get the wedding license (you have othave it for 3 days before you can get married) and went ring shopping which was really fun.

Everyone came to town (about 20 people). In fact I didn't invite anyone personally, I told people and they decided whether or not they were comming. It seemed to work well, people who could not stay away came which was kind of fun.

This is enough for one post, I will write about the wedding itself later when I can dig up some pictures. :)

--------- Just as a side note-- I probably have about 50 posts in my head that never made it to the blog.... so I might be sort of random for a while. Adam doesn't allow the computer into the bed room anymore so less made it on to paper------------