Oh the joy of customers. You can't let them get to you. Sigh.
I am dying yarn like a crazy person getting ready for this trade show.
I am not really sure what else to say. I am working really hard right now. Meh, we all are right.
Being with my Mom makes me a little crazy anyways. I don't want to be too much like her, because I don't always approve of how she treats people. I am like her because I am related to her and she helped raise me. Sometimes it is hard to be me when she is around. I have to work extra hard to be nice to people. I question myself more. Putting things in perspective is harder. Being me is harder.
It doesn't help that I am already trying to figure out who I am. I have been poking through the book A New Earth. I think some of his points are good but I find his book to be hypocritical. I think he is right though in about who are you if lost everything family, stuff, job, country. Who would you be? I think that is a good point.
People being upset at em still bothers me. People's criticism still bothers me. I know I am going to have to take a lot more. So here is to being strong....
Gulp.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Friendly, but not too friendly
Army culture makes me laugh. Where we live people are nice, not friendly. They will say hi and smile (and be very polite), but never introduce themselves. We take special care never to try and meet people. As Adam says, if you don't know them you don't have to salute. Plus every army person I have ever met frowns upon fraternizing outside you rank, yadda yadda yadda.Whatever.
Consequently, the wives, girlfriends aren't wanting to be friendly and make friends or introduce themselves. But there is one lady who is nice, and I took them some muffins. She is always nice. The husband came down to introduce himself, and I was so worried about meeting them I was kind of short with them. Adam doesn't want to make friends, but I do. I was so excited because he didn't have a short haircut! They aren't military. That means maybe I could be allowed to be friends. If you read that sentence, don't fall off your chair laughing or think that is a bizarre statement then you have lived army too long.
So anyways, I gained a bunch of weight and I haven't been wanting to leave the house and be in public, cuz I don't fit my clothes and nothing really looks flattering on me right now. But I have to go to the show. Adam said to me last night,"You can't just complain that you are fat. You have to go work out and not cheat on your diet.I can't make you not cheat and I can't make you go. It's personal decision. If you want to go you will go." He is right. So yesterday I went and bought about 4 pairs of uber cheap walmart workout clothes, and today I went to work out. I have eaten only good stuff today. Maybe it will last, but I am not going to stress about it, because if I do I will stress eat!
I talked with my check in person, and she noticed how I am not concretizing what I need and not making sure I get it and its bringing me down. It's not just enough to love Adam and I agree. So thats why I made sure I worked out today. It's so simple. Literally the workout place is 100 yards from my door, and open from 7 am to 10 pm. I work out for just 20 minutes and I come home. There is usually hardly anyone ever there. Anyways. It's a process. I feel a lot more at peace with myself today now that I went to work out. :: shrug::
Consequently, the wives, girlfriends aren't wanting to be friendly and make friends or introduce themselves. But there is one lady who is nice, and I took them some muffins. She is always nice. The husband came down to introduce himself, and I was so worried about meeting them I was kind of short with them. Adam doesn't want to make friends, but I do. I was so excited because he didn't have a short haircut! They aren't military. That means maybe I could be allowed to be friends. If you read that sentence, don't fall off your chair laughing or think that is a bizarre statement then you have lived army too long.
So anyways, I gained a bunch of weight and I haven't been wanting to leave the house and be in public, cuz I don't fit my clothes and nothing really looks flattering on me right now. But I have to go to the show. Adam said to me last night,"You can't just complain that you are fat. You have to go work out and not cheat on your diet.I can't make you not cheat and I can't make you go. It's personal decision. If you want to go you will go." He is right. So yesterday I went and bought about 4 pairs of uber cheap walmart workout clothes, and today I went to work out. I have eaten only good stuff today. Maybe it will last, but I am not going to stress about it, because if I do I will stress eat!
I talked with my check in person, and she noticed how I am not concretizing what I need and not making sure I get it and its bringing me down. It's not just enough to love Adam and I agree. So thats why I made sure I worked out today. It's so simple. Literally the workout place is 100 yards from my door, and open from 7 am to 10 pm. I work out for just 20 minutes and I come home. There is usually hardly anyone ever there. Anyways. It's a process. I feel a lot more at peace with myself today now that I went to work out. :: shrug::
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Quiet Hours
I am up early for me. Adam left for work about and hour ago, but I didn't feel like sleeping. I sure I will here in a little bit. Yesterday was a busy day. My sisters and I rode and worked. It was so hot we came back and Adam was home! So we jumped in the pool where the kids (Adam and the girls) played Monkey in the middle with a wiffle ball.
We went shopping for groceries and while I was in the store, a bouquet f tulips magically appeared on my seat. They are gorgeous (purple).
Last night it was so hot we had a hard time sleeping, I never thought I would say that about Washington.
So yeah puddling along checking email for orders and enjoying a little downtime. Myabe I will try and sleep just a little more before I have to face the music as they say.
AS side note: Here is a link to a lady reviewing some of my yarn.
People are always asking me what I am doing now a days so here is it, this is what I am doing. Its crazy.
I am not making sense anymore. Maybe its naptime.
We went shopping for groceries and while I was in the store, a bouquet f tulips magically appeared on my seat. They are gorgeous (purple).
Last night it was so hot we had a hard time sleeping, I never thought I would say that about Washington.
So yeah puddling along checking email for orders and enjoying a little downtime. Myabe I will try and sleep just a little more before I have to face the music as they say.
AS side note: Here is a link to a lady reviewing some of my yarn.
People are always asking me what I am doing now a days so here is it, this is what I am doing. Its crazy.
I am not making sense anymore. Maybe its naptime.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
I know...
It's been over a week. I used to blog everyday! Sheez What has gotten into me?!?!
Adam had his first "real" day back at work. This means everyone came home off of leave. The day before he went back we went to get his traditional hair cut and all the shops were totally packed! I asked him what he wanted to do and we had kind of joked around with the idea of me cutting his hair and he said,"You can do it later we will get some trimmers." I said,"Ok!" So we went to Seattle and did some stuff. When we came back we went and grabbed trimmers. It took me a while and I think got it a little too short in some areas, but when I was done it looked pretty good. We were worried, but when he got to work the next morning his battle buddy said it looked good. SO I was thrilled. I don't think I will do it every week, but every other week wouldn't be so bad. Just follow the hair cut of the barber.
Two of my sisters are visiting form out of town, one is a half sister from my mom and the other is a half sister from my dad, so they don't know each other very well. Its kind of cool. They are both here for a week. It just sort of worked out that way.
Going back to work hasn't been terribly fun for Adam. He rushes home when it is time to come home and changes out of the outfit immediately. I hope it picks up for him and they do more "fun stuff" as Adam likes to call it. We went out to dinner with his battle buddy and it was pretty obvious that Adam and he are in a totally different space. Adam is sitting there with me and my sister sort of family man-ish and BB is text buddies to see who wants to go out drinking. I think many of the guys feel like they need to catch up on home stuff now that they are back, Fortunately for me all Adam really feels like he needs to catch up on is movie seeing. Some guys are drinking an awful lot, not BB per se I don't know. I don't think hanging out with us is high on his list of fun things to do you know? Lol Anyways
This is going to be long because I haven't blogged in forever. Adam txted to say he has a long day today, which is good for me in the sense that I hate to work when he is around. So I tend not to. Not good.
The relationship has definitely changed then when he first got home. It has become more solid, but I think we are still feeling out each other boundaries. The problem is the boundaries are about really what have time to do and that is going to change 100 fold again once he has a more set schedule and 100 times again if he has to leave for Yakima. I mean I guess I am happy its not same ole same ole, I mean the same is boring right? I hate boring. I keep having this fantasy that we are going to settle into a routine and that hasn't happened yet. I mean the only routine we really have is that Adam is going to play video games sometime before bed and we go to bed in time for him to get up to go to work. He goes to work and gives me kisses before he goes and then goes. I go back to sleep and make myself get up at 9 am. Voila our schedule. I guess it is not a bad schedule as far as they go. Anyways. Always more to write, never enough time. Until next time.
I am having this horse dilemma, and maybe I am going to be able to go fix it.
Adam had his first "real" day back at work. This means everyone came home off of leave. The day before he went back we went to get his traditional hair cut and all the shops were totally packed! I asked him what he wanted to do and we had kind of joked around with the idea of me cutting his hair and he said,"You can do it later we will get some trimmers." I said,"Ok!" So we went to Seattle and did some stuff. When we came back we went and grabbed trimmers. It took me a while and I think got it a little too short in some areas, but when I was done it looked pretty good. We were worried, but when he got to work the next morning his battle buddy said it looked good. SO I was thrilled. I don't think I will do it every week, but every other week wouldn't be so bad. Just follow the hair cut of the barber.
Two of my sisters are visiting form out of town, one is a half sister from my mom and the other is a half sister from my dad, so they don't know each other very well. Its kind of cool. They are both here for a week. It just sort of worked out that way.
Going back to work hasn't been terribly fun for Adam. He rushes home when it is time to come home and changes out of the outfit immediately. I hope it picks up for him and they do more "fun stuff" as Adam likes to call it. We went out to dinner with his battle buddy and it was pretty obvious that Adam and he are in a totally different space. Adam is sitting there with me and my sister sort of family man-ish and BB is text buddies to see who wants to go out drinking. I think many of the guys feel like they need to catch up on home stuff now that they are back, Fortunately for me all Adam really feels like he needs to catch up on is movie seeing. Some guys are drinking an awful lot, not BB per se I don't know. I don't think hanging out with us is high on his list of fun things to do you know? Lol Anyways
This is going to be long because I haven't blogged in forever. Adam txted to say he has a long day today, which is good for me in the sense that I hate to work when he is around. So I tend not to. Not good.
The relationship has definitely changed then when he first got home. It has become more solid, but I think we are still feeling out each other boundaries. The problem is the boundaries are about really what have time to do and that is going to change 100 fold again once he has a more set schedule and 100 times again if he has to leave for Yakima. I mean I guess I am happy its not same ole same ole, I mean the same is boring right? I hate boring. I keep having this fantasy that we are going to settle into a routine and that hasn't happened yet. I mean the only routine we really have is that Adam is going to play video games sometime before bed and we go to bed in time for him to get up to go to work. He goes to work and gives me kisses before he goes and then goes. I go back to sleep and make myself get up at 9 am. Voila our schedule. I guess it is not a bad schedule as far as they go. Anyways. Always more to write, never enough time. Until next time.
I am having this horse dilemma, and maybe I am going to be able to go fix it.
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