Blessed

I am blessed. I have recently been dealing with some families issues surrounding one of my sisters. It's been sad and painful. In everything there is a silver lining. The silver lining in all of this is that I am free and blessed. I have stepped away from my Mother's craziness in a way that is so fundamental it makes everything clear.

When I was 16 my Mother kicked me out of the house, because I was,"destroying her family." It tore me apart. I felt unwanted when I left. Looking back on it, I caused myself to leave. I behaved in such a way that I drove her away. My sister wants someone to rescue her. The truth is in the end we can only rescue ourselves. I rescued myself. When the reality of my Mother's inane and impossible standards clashed with the way I would no longer tolerate being treated, I got kicked out. Yeah she kicked me out. But I "left her no choice."

I am blessed because the people I care about don't try to avoid me the way I try avoid my Mother. The people I care about try to spend more time with me not less. I am saying this simply because I am grateful that these people take the time to spend with me.

Seeing my Mother today with no answer to life's pertinent questions, to see her lie and weasel and create fantasy, made me realize that she is going to lose everything. All her lies are going to catch up with her, and she doesn't have any of the answers. That's not the person I remember, but I am betting she has always been that way.

I am pulling for you little Dakota, and know I have faith in you to do the right thing, whatever that ends up being for you. You know the truth and you know the difference between right and wrong.