23

I am 23 in 30 minutes. 5 years ago I had one of the best birthdays of my entire life. My 18th birthday was a great birthday, Adam got me 5 tickets to see the 2nd Matrix movie, and got a teacher to take us to the midnight showing (we lived at boarding school). That day I won an award at my school called the Robinson Award and a very dear friend of mine presented it to me. Adam and I also gave each other puzzle rings and I still have mine and wear it.

Looking at all the things Adam and I have been through in the past 5 years is insane. We broke-up, refused to talk to each other, hurt each other feelings and then didn't hear from the other for over 2 years. We later reconnected, talked a little, and then made some time for the other in our lives. We took a leap of faith and got back together before we had seen each other again and started down the slippery slope of getting to know each other again. Before my next birthday could roll around Adam was deployed to Iraq.

Hopefully by my birthday next year, he will be safe in my arms and not have to be away from me anymore.

So this day, I am actually getting a year older because you cannot stop time. I am celebrating my birthday with some local people. But it's not really my birthday until he comes home and we can spend it together. I think your birthday should be the best day of the year. I can't really have the best day until he is home.

I think about all of the stuff that has happened in the last 5 years.

I always wanted to end up with someone who I dated when I was young, and when I dated Adam, realized that if that was going to be a reality, that person would be him. He didn't seem to think so. He is my fairy tale, my happily ever after, the relationship that always felt right, but seemed too "out there" to be real. The time we spent apart we both became our own people and gained insight that has brought us together today.

If I could have glimpsed how I live now, on that day 5 years ago, it would have made me smile. I got into college I ended up loving (I hadn't yet received all my acceptance/ rejection letters), have a degree, I am with person that I love more than anyone on the planet, and I am doing the things I love to do and have good people in my life that care about. I think about this and then I think ahead to the next 5 years, and if they work out at all like the last 5, I don't think I could ask for more.

I love you Adam. Don't worry about my birthday, it's not my birthday until you are here. :)