Hiding Out

I have been hiding out. I do this occasionally when I feel guilty or overwhelmed, I jsut stick my head in the sand like and ostrich and hope the world will go away. Let me tell you its about as effective as an ostrich methods too. I decided to quit my yarn job and I feel like I am letting a lot of people down. It's not making money and although working hard, I am finding myself in quite a bit of debt. Not Fun. On top of that I am not having fun. I am realizing it was not my dream to do it, it was someone else in my families who really pushed me to do it and now and I feel pretty let down, both by myself and by some people in my family. I know it never works out to do business with family and I did it anyways.

This amazing great cool fantastic thing about the whole deal is: I am free for a whole year. I think I Adam and I are going to pack up all our stuff and give it away or put it in storage and we are going to update my Dad's airstream trailer and I am going to live in that until I find a place I want to settle in for a time. Maybe I will stay for the whole year. It is usually around $400 a month to park the airstream at a place so I will be saving on rent for sure and I will always have a place for the dogs, I won't have to worry about finding a place for them to stay. I am hoping I will learn a lot about what I do and do not need in my life to be happy. It's only a 34 ft trailer (which is big for an airstream), but all my stuff isnot going to fit in there that is for sure. Adam and I started talking about what we could store and what we could get rid. It amazed me how much stuff when have in our house. I mean really what can I live without?

So I have a lot of loose ends to clean up and people to pay and pacify and explain, and I am not looking forward to any of it. I have to get on the road today to drive to Arizona and meet my Mother to start coming clean with all the stuff I owe.Adam says to grit my teeth and get it done and then I will feel better about it and he is right, but those first couple of steps are going to be yucky.

Anyways, you will probably be hearing more from me because when I am away from Adam I tend to blog more. (He has some army readiness test for a month).