To Be Close

I find I have these moments where I will do all kind of strange things so that I feel comforted and not so far away from Adam. Most obviously I went to stay with his family over Thanksgiving day break. Today I showed Adam's Mom some of the pictures I have that he gave me. They were comforting. You could hear the stryker engine in the background of a clip. The stryker noise was comforting. King smiled at the camera in one of the shots. Knowing he was over there with Adam and that they were not alone. Very comforting.

I smelled the flowers that Adam asked him Mom to get me. They were a little comforting. I am just looking for the little pieces of Adam all around. Any little scrap of Adam comfortness I snatch up. I think it is strange that such discombobulated things make me feel a little less alone.

I pretend that all these things together mean something and I don't know that they do except for me being a little neurotic to bring Adam-ness back into my life. I wonder if this will get better. He called today. It always seems like we talk for maybe 5 seconds, but I know that it is more time then that. I get so excited to talk to him that after we get off the phone I can barely remember what we talked about. Well I hope everyone is having a good holiday.