Reticent

Lately I have been gone and out of touch with both the blogging world and Adam. For some reason Adam doesn't have internet in the barracks anymore. So he has to trek out to call or im me. This has led to a serious decrease in the amount of time we talk, an increase in the amount of time I clean- pick up -take care of me, and an increase in the distance in our relationship. I can quite happily say that the house is finally clean and starting to look like a real human being lives here. We talked about the distance in the relationship and both agreed that there wasn't much to be done about it. We will both just have a lot of readjusting when he gets back. I feel like I am running out of time until I move to Washington and that slight panic is in some ways the best feeling in the world because I know that it means I am running out of time until I see Adam and get to figure out my life with him. My own life plan is very, very, very fuzzy right now and I have decided to refuse to let myself speculate about how I am going to make it work because truthfully I always find away to make it work.

Unfortunately he almost always calls in the middle of the night and no matter how hard I try I cannot seem to make good conversation at 3 am. I try, but I am very foggy. Well I know he is doing well and whatever concerns I have about us or thoughts or worries have to be put on hold, in suspension. Part of me worries thats unhealthy, but part of me knows it is the sanest thing I can do right now. I am going to visit Adam's family for Thanksgiving and I am pretty sure I will find it comforting.

Really there is just not much to say right now. I am trying to get all my learning in Texas done so that I can go home to Adam with no regrets. I have a lot on my plate.