Easy

Why can't this just be easy?!?!? You know how many near misses I have had talking to him?!?!?


Yesterday, today, the day, before. It's 3 am again here I am, from not quite awake to very alert and frustrated that I realize I missed him again. This is the one thing that I beat myself up about that I can't seem to get over. Logically, if he calls a lot or does anything a lot statistically I am going to miss some, even if I wait around the phones all day. Its so frustrating too when you both put in all the extra steps. He always calls me twice, I sleep with my phone logged into messenger and turned up very loud. All of this crap lie on the capabilities of my cell phone, which really is just a a smaller, cheaper computer and on my ability to wake up when I hear it. Sh*t. This is so not fun and not funny, especially when Adam has been making such an efort to get a hold of me. I wanted to come online and tell him that his efforts are appreciated despite the simple fact that I can't seem to get it together to be ready when he calls. I freaking hate the army. HATE IT.

Why does this have to be some hard and mindlessly crazy inducing?!?!
I am going back to bed I wish there was something cathartic to do to help me feel more at ease, but besides really ranting in my blog and showing Adam how sorry I am that I keep missing him and expressing the incredible undeniable, very tired, weary, and worn frustration, their really isn't. Oh good, he is calling!