Have you ever been thinking about what to do and then someone says the obvious answer? That happened to me. I don't know how you people plan your lives, but this is what I do with mine. I look at all the things I am trying to do, the commitments I have to keep, and that cash flow I have. Then I figure out the best course of action, this leads me down a very different path then most people.
So I was looking at how to pay off some debt I got myself into (totally MY fault) and my Dad mentioned that he wasn't at his house in Wyoming and I could have the whole place to myself, rent and utility free while he is most gone for the next 5 months. I can store all my stuff, all my horses are there, and I can keep my horses there for the price of feed. I have been trying to not move back to Wyoming for a lot of personal reasons, one of which is that I get REALLY REALLY lonely there. I went to boarding school, so I don't know many people, and going to a liberal arts college is not the norm for many, so I don't really fit in. However, as soon as my Dad said that to me, I knew that leaving my house in Fort Collins was the way to go, even though I didn't really want to at first. I thought I would find a job I liked there, and everything would fall right into place. It hasn't. I would settle down there IF I didn't have to go back to Washington after Adam get back.
That's where the huge hitch is in the whole process. If I would find a stable regular job in Fort Collins, we could probably afford a house with a little land for some horses. All I need to do is be able to put $600 a month towards a mortgage. The banker told me even if I have a written letter saying I have a job starting within 60 days we could probably get it done. When Adam gets back from Iraq, I have been told in no uncertain terms that even though he was stoplossed we have to give 3 more months where he has been stationed. I don't understand why 3 months, but that's the deal. SO me and Adam and the airstream trailer are headed for our RV park near exit 114 in Washington for 3 dreary Washington winter months. Well at least I will have the wonderful Olympia farmers market. For all practical purposes , it's April. I gave notice, I am going to move out at the end of the month. Even if I did get a job in this tough economy you think they are just going to be "cool" with me heading for Washington for 3 months this fall after I start? I think not. I have been working on all kinds of temp work ideas, but none have really panned out.
So I looked at the money I was spending and the money I was not bringing in and it became clear to me it was time to cut back on the spending. Especially when you consider in Fort Collins I am paying for TV, internet, electricity, gas ,and garbage. Adam's family also has some nice land and has invited me the horses and the dogs down. I am definitely going to take her up on that.
I guess what it comes down to is I don't like to work when I don't see a purpose or if I don't like or respect the people with whom I work. I don't really want a mindless 9-5. My job has to mean something to me and maybe some people see that as foolish and selfish, but that is who I am and that is who my husband married. I don't think he has a problem with it. I mean sometimes you have to suck it up and take one for the team, but I don't so I am not.
Everyday since Ada, left I have been doing things I choose to do. If I have a bad day, I have no one, but me, to be responsible for it. It's supposed to be liberating and often it is. I mean I thank God everyday that I am fortunate enough to be this way. I just wish I had something productive I could work towards or something to be part of so I wasn't so lonely. Unfortunately, I don't know many other college graduated- roping horseback riders-computer science- gaming- home cooks - stay at home army wifes. And by all means it's not that I am against people who are not. We just don't have a ton in common. I can smile politely and be interested in whatever it is you do, but it is not the most fufilling thing on the planet. What I would really love to find is more people who are into the same styles of riding and roping as me and hang out. Wellll goood luck. I would even really enjoy some people to play board games with or magic or some people to invite over for a (gasp) dinner party. That would be pretty fun. Since none of these things seem to be happening in Fort Collins, I may as well move back to Wyoming. Much cheaper there. Right now (and if you are still reading) I an near Fort Huachuca in Sonoita, AZ. There is a game store in the nearby town of Sierra Vista and they have game nights on Friday and Saturday and I thought I might swing by and check it out.
On a much different note, since I came to Arizona, my horses have been goign really well. I could write a whole other blog about my views on riding. I love my horses and I love to ride. Pictured above is Adam's horse Quick Draw ( I did post pictures of him as a baby in 2007 and you can see he has grown quite a bit). He was hot ans sweaty from being ridden and then I put my little Shelby in the saddle. She was pretty nervous, but she held still for the picture.
No comments:
Post a Comment