Early to Bed

I never used to go to bed early. This is something that Adam has taught me because he had to go to bed early. I used to have a really hard time falling asleep and instead would go to bed and stay up and read or play video games really late. I do not allow a television in our bedroom, for many reasons, but the main one being I would stay up late watching TV every night. I will let you in on a little secret I have learned. If you go to bed early getting up in the morning is generally a lot easier. If you go to bed at 8:30 or 9 every night, 6:30 to 7:30 am wake ups are easy-peasy. In fact, it will be really really hard to sleep past 8.

Now if I have something important to do in the morning I have no trouble "making" myself go to bed, I dread the waking up groggy and trying to push myself through a day. I almost never stay up late and jeopardize the next day. Where was this impetus when I was going to college and I was CONSTANTLY tired? Is something that just changes as you get older? If so I hope myself discipline for getting up, dressed and going in the morning when I am totally alone will be the next thing that just starts becoming natural. If I am with other people, I will get up/ dressed/ shower, etc and lead a normal day. If I am by myself I laze along until 10:30 or so before I get going. I have no self discipline that way.... maybe I should take some lessons from my husband... : )

I know why I go to bed early now and it is a sort of funny/ silly reason.In my mind, it makes the days go by faster. If I can get through another day, no matter how fun or good it was I always feel the same way; if I can get through it and go to bed, another day will come and I am that much closer to the deployment being over. I look forward for bed, not because I am tired, but because it is another day down. THANK GOD.

Last time Adam was deployed, I thought to myself, everything will be easier when he comes home. I won't have to take care of the house by myself, cook by myself, figure out how to spend the weekend by myself, etc. It wasn't easier when he came home, everything just doubled by two. It was in general more fun to do everything, but we had to make both people happy. I didn't know before he left the last time because we hadn't lived together. We lived together for over a year before this latest deployment. It's also true that we didn't have a ton of free time because the army work schedule is pretty demanding. SO here I am halfway through another deployment, and I catch myself thinking, "It will all be easier when he is home to stay..." and then I remember, yes somethings WERE easier, but most things are the same. If I want things to be "easier" (whatever the fuck that means -- I mean really... easier?) I better make them easier now. Definitely NOT wait for Adam to come home and hope for everything in my life to be magically "easier".