Are you going....

alone? "Yes." I said for the 3rd time today. Thanks for reminding me I AM ALONE. I am going to Billings by myself. I have to go by myself. Who is going to "take" me? My boyfriend is in IRAQ! Traveling 5 hours across the uninhabited, wild Wyoming landscape did not help me to feel less alone.

Being Army alone is the worst kind of alone. It is not like when you are single. When you are single you can look or you can choose to be a single independent woman.... oh oh noooo... you get to be helpless, we-are-so-sorry-are-dating-someone-in-Iraq, have-to-do-everything-yourself-wonder-woman. I just laugh. I went to check in and the guy at the desk, asked, "How many will be staying this evening?" "One." I reply. Big smile. Sigh. "Where can I get some dinner??"

So I get to dinner. Only place to eat: the bar. Sit down ferociously reading my auction booklet. Old guy next to me bumps me, apologizes, and uses the opportunity to strike up conversation. Suddenly, my booklet becomes tremendously interesting. Time to get the food to go. It's not that people are hitting on me it's that I exude being alone.

Adam always insists that I stay in a Best Western, because he sees them as being safe. So I do when I can. I mean I guess I should be thankful for living in a first world country where I have the freedom to travel alone in relative safety and the right to carry minimal weapons (like mace) should I choose or where I have the option to apply for a concealed carry permit. A country where no one finds it odd that I travel alone. Where Adam works women are owned, regulated, and treated like animals. I am grateful that Adam fights for American ideals.
To continue my appreciate for the world around me; There is something to be said for having "you" time, but I never really cared for "me" time. There are so many old cowboy songs about loves that are waiting. So you can see how people get wrapped in the endless blue skies and vast expansive landscapes. I am not sure which is worse being alone in a cityful of people or being alone in the wilderness miles from regular civilization. I think being alone in the city is worse, all though people around make me feel like the human race is careless and callous. Though for sure being alone because of the army is the bottom of the barrel.