The fights, that's the elephant in the room. No one wants to say they fight with their significant other while they are deployed or away. I mean I agree, focusing on the fight is very negative, and can be not healthy. I am merely pointing out the stuff that when people hear that you are fighting they think,"Oh that relationship is on the rocks." Since people have so many doubts about long term long distance military they assume that's the indicator of it all going downhill. They are wrong. It's not. It's just indicates that you both are pretty darn stressed out.
When Adam and I argue I feel so strongly that I basically lock myself away until we figure it out. Usually neither me or him can sleep until we come to some consensus. Which can be frustrating when you decide to talk about it later and then you can't sleep. It's a little peculiar that we seems to fight more when we are tired.....
The fights are just so much harder, because you don't want to fight with all your heart. We are more careful about saying things we can't take back, because words are all you have. You can't just kiss and make up, or cuddle and sleep it off. You try hard not to stress him out because he needs to be rested and alert for tomorrow. He doesn't have the luxury of a job where being a little out of it won't hurt. It's a balancing act of meeting his needs and yours, you don't want to rock the boat, but at some point you aren't you.
Anyways it's rough at the time, but I feel like it doesn't really matter what Adam and I argue about anymore, we seem to work through it. We both have made huge compromises and tried hard to look outside our comfort zone to see the other point.
Yeah we argue, we are testing the boundaries, figuring it all out. I think it makes us stronger. So yes contrary to popular belief I even argue with my boyfriend when he is Iraq. Life goes on and we march forward as best we can....
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3 comments:
If you never encounter adversity in your relationship, how will you know if you can handle it? Disagreements can be a good things sometimes.
I know what you mean. I was telling one of my friends about how me and my boyfriend got in a spat and her response was "Oh so you aren't doing to good? You think you are going to break up with him?" Why is that someones response to any kind of dispute? It really frustrates me that im unable to communicate with my friends about my entire relationship because they are so naive when it comes to a military relationships. Its refreshing that I'm still not the only one with these thoughts. thank you again!
Yeah I generally don't tell ANYONE because I already feel crappy, I don't need them doubting our relationship with questions like that on top of everything else.
I tell my best friend Melissa thats about it.
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