Meaning

I have been meaning to write but lately I have been just falling into bed at night. Once Adam gets home from work we fill our days with stuff right up until bed time. Not always important stuff (like America's Best Dance Crew is on tonight), but still.

It is a lot of work to live with someone when you are used to living alone. We are working on cooking together and fortunately, we have a grill and that has made cooking and cleaning a lot easier. I think what I miss the most is "down time". When I was alone I could take a minute almost whenever I wanted to, sit and zone out, or watch tv and zone out. Now I am constantly aware of where Adam is and what he is doing ALL THE TIME. When he is at work I try to do that stuff that he doesn't like or I have to be alone to do. When he is around we try to get errands done or do fun stuff. Even if I sit to zone out or watch TV I feel this pull of the fact that he is around and I could be with him. I am wondering if this will wear off.

Right now we do things together even when we could do them apart because I think the deployment-ness has not worn off yet. If I can be with him I feel like I should and if I am not I want to be, so it is really weird. I am still working with it.

One of the things that has become my new compulsion is going with him to work and doing work at the library or in the car while he is in formation or like today he is moving stuff for two hours. For some reason I am like 100 times more productive if I am away from my house. It's insane.

Speaking of the other type of meaning full stuff that is happening, yesterday we decided to go to breakfast at Denny's and Adam was on stdby so he was in outfit. So once we were done eating we were told by the waitress that table next to us had paid for our breakfast. We both were dumbfounded. I mean Adam tells me about this stuff happening, but until it happens to you it is a little shocking. That was nice of them. When it happens you are grateful, but in an awkward, self concious way. By the time the waitress has told us they had left. So we had no one to be self concious to, but us.

I will say, it does "warm your heart" so to speak and make you want to be nice to other people and in that way I hope I can do something nice for someone, and hope they feel as appreciated as we did.