So sick

I am so sick of lying to people. It is just not worth to hear whatever they have to say to me about what they think about it. So I don't tell them. I have whole list of people that I am regularly lying to. That's bad huh? It is mainly because I have a thing I am doing and I have thought about it and made up my mind. and there is F*** all anyone can say to change it. As frank as that is. Though keeping my stories straight is a work of art.

The only person I haven't really been lying to is Adam. This is mainly because he is with me every second of the day watching and consequently laying his head on my shoulder as I write this.

Really it is not exactly that I am always lying it is just sometimes I need to present a person that people can understand, interact with and get along with. Just because I don't exactly agree with their modus operendai doesn't mean I don't have to stop interacting with them entirely, just modify slightly their perception of me.

Anyways. Exhausted. Going to bed. Wish I could blog more, but I don't need to dig myself into a hole anyways. Very headstrong I am. Faith in the world that it will work itself out pervades me.