Looking at it through the glass

:: looks over her list of things to do::
Email Friends (guess thats an important one)
Write in Blog ( I have lots to say)
Board Plane (thats not leaving until 6)
Finish Book
Wait (for your plane for Adam to get home for people to get back to you)

I wish I could do something to just cross all the waiting off my list. I ate at Panda Express today and my fortune cookie said,"A distant romance could begin to look more promising." Hmm I sure as hell hope so, because less promising would be bad right now. Adam and I have been a little out of touch and while I always find this a tad discomforting because I do not like even being a step out of syncopation with Adam I do really take comfort in knowing that he is thinking of me. I have had a lot of problems with travel lately and then my phone had an accident at the beach, and is non functional currently (oh yeah add that to the list). I don't know if he realizes how much of him I incorporate into my everyday life. I use phrases that are his, and I look at his pictures, and make jokes that I know would make him laugh if he were here even though no one else thinks they are funny and instead think I am crazy. :(

The other day I talked to him, and I said," Are tired and worn down and just want to sleep? Or are you happy to be talking to me?" and he said, "Yes and Yes." I think we are both waiting for this madness to be over so we can reconnect and not feel like its all going to go away the next time we are trying to figure something out and we are cut short. We both hit the pause and continue on, but I can't get it out of my head, and I all I want to do is ask what he thinks about this idea or that idea. Nothing I can do, but wait, and I am such an impatient person. :) I have to say that I really believe that God only gives you what you can handle. I think God likes to push Adam and me a little. Anyways hoping I will be finding a place soon, Pam and I are heading up next weekend so more travel for me. Hopefully fewer delays! Hopefully Adam will come home soon, I am trying to be upbeat with out jinxing myself. Ya know?

For my ANIME LOVING FRIENDS: There is a great book called Wrong about Japan, and there is an amazing interview of Hayao Miyazaki in the book about his childhood. I thought that was really cool. Which brings me to a topic that I have been thinking about off and on a little, What value am I and other people (namely Americans) missing out on due to a lack of incredible hardship? Miyazaki talks about the WWII and bombings and you can see how his works are influenced by those experiences. Leon (the guy I work for) literally is a self made man. Did people like them rise to greatness because they were always great or they were driven too? I always feel guilty when I read about these accounts of how these people have overcome these circumstances to lead undamaged lives, and not bitter craven shells of defeat. It is something I think about every once in a while, and wonder what types of hardships have value and whether or not it is easier to get a head with hardship because you have valuable life experience that cannot be gained any other way OR whether so much energy and resources are used up overcoming hardship that a person is really set back. I mean I guess obviously the truth of that varies from person to person.

I am obviously letting this blog wander away from just soldier stuff, but eventually Adam will come home and I will have nothing to update you guys on Iraq. Anyways.