Core Value System

Most people get touchy when they feel like their core value system is being attacked or even brought into question. Much of my core value system revolves around the way I handle, view and train horses. Much of my core value system involves my view about my boarding school in Arizona, The Orme School.

Some how Adam and I got into an argument about both things. I am very touchy about this. Almost irrationally touchy about it. I have worked with horses my whole life. I have taken lessons, and ridden countless hours in a variety of styles. I have ridden English and jumped (hunters). I learned to breakaway rope and goat tie. I have ridden dude horses in some of the roughest terrain that you can take a horse on. I have done some gymkhana events and won ribbons in trail classes. I have started colts both with and without help. I have been to several Bryan Neubert and Buck Brannaman clinics. I marginally learned to ranch rope and have been to a roping or two(Adam is a better roper then me).

I HAVE SERIOUSLY STUDIED THIS STUFF. I don't know of a subject on the planet into which I have put more time and energy. I want to be right, I need to be right. CUZ I AM RIGHT(some of the time anyways) DAMMIT. Now I am working with one of top trainers in the US, learning to ride and he is really happy with my progress. So tell me, why the hell do I feel so insecure when Adam questions my motives? I have logically and experiential upper hand here.... I mean I want his opinion, but basically I want him to agree with me. I guess if I don't actually want his opinion I have to stop asking for it. I don't really want him to tell me if I am right or wrong; I want him to put ideas into the pot rather then criticize the ones I already have in there. Dammit.:P I don't know that he will ever discuss the theoretics behind horse training the way I do. We are going to have to work out some way or relating about horse stuff or this will not work out.

We both get sort of touchy about this. Man, I hope this works out. It could get uncomfortable in a hurry. I see us having many discussions in the future. It is really hard when it is something you feel so strongly about, especially me, I hate being "uninformed" about something I care about, which is why I spend every spare second studying, thinking, and evaluating. When it comes to horse stuff, if I am talking about it you can be sure I have thought about it for easily 10 hours before I have come to a solid conclusion. We will see.

This is the most important thing to me, I feel about horses the way some people feel about religion: you have to have the proper respect and value for horses. I believe there is a right way to do it, a way that allows horses to be horses and enjoy their work. I have found it working with people like Buck and Bryan, and also with Leon, but in a different way. Anyways I could go on for hours and hours about my philosophies on horses. Needless to say I believe that some people just make do with their horses and others really try to communicate with their horse on a different level.

Anyways I get grumpyish when I feel like these buttons are being pushed. Things are never as simple as they seem.

Night