It's not pretty

So if you came here for a "feel good" fix, you might as well stop reading now.I don't write this blog to make army life look pretty. To be the perfect 50's poodle skirt wife is not me. That's not my life. My life involves joys and hardships, the gritty and the pretty.

Adam was bummed that I wasn't "happy" to see him. It is not that I am not happy to see him it is that I am not jumping up and down to comfort him about his missions. I know they were tough and I know they sucked and I am sorry. It is hard to be there for him 100% when I had a bad week too. I am sorry I am not gung-ho about being happy. It's hard to bear the weight of your life and my life. You only want to hear about my happy moments. I mean yeah we both do lots of things to "get along." I am very happy to do things to get along. I love him dearly and if getting along is what we need right now to stay together cleanly, where do I sign up? I know that being with you is way more important than my bad last week and my week in the grand scheme of the rest of our lives this is just a blimp on the map.

But right now, when I am tired and have a lot of vicoden in my system, I am sorry if I seem to complain a lot and you want to give my worries a passing nod and say I am mopey. I get he can't deal with my problems here in the US. I just can't deal with my problems being dismissed right now. I will be happy and get along, because I love him and I want to support him in the war effort. I am only human.

I tried to tell him about the things I was happy about, my best friend is getting married and she has arranged the dates around Adam's most likely leave so that he can attend. SHE IS PLANNING HER WEDDING AROUND WHEN WE CAN ATTEND! She is amazing.

So yeah, it's not pretty. I am grumpy. I had a yucky week. It was tough and stressful and I feel under appreciated. I know that is my lot right now. I get it, and I can take that, but I can't do it all. But I love him.