Guilty and the Post Office

I am guilty of a lot of things. Adam accuses me of not putting him first sometimes. He is right, it's same reason that an electrician's wife's wiring never gets fixed. You neglect to do things in your own backyard because you know the people you love are more forgiving then people who don't know you very well.

I know that putting anything on the back burner is dangerous especially when you take loved ones for granted. I don't want to do that. I get so caught up in my work thinking that is what is important that I let a lot of things slide. Housework, laundry,etc. It drives my Dad up the wall. It is because I don't prioritize the things that I do for myself as well as I should. I consider talking to and hanging out with Adam as something I do for myself and that is why sometimes I don't stop for lunch and talk to him. I don't have time for lunch, I have too much to do. Too much to do is relative. Relative to doing what is important.

Case in point: A friend asked me to mail him something priority. I have had boxes of stuff for Adam, ready to go by the door and just needing notes for like two weeks. Today I managed to mail the other stuff out, but I didn't have time to write Adam's note for his box. Obviously I have a priority problem.I fall into this trap easily. It is quite a bit of work to put together a box for him, but not nearly the amount of time I would be spending if he were here. It's easier for me to get through my day with Adam on the back burner, not constantly intruding on my thoughts distractingly. I have to be careful about putting the most important part of my life on hold like because if I lose it, I will be pretty miserable.

So as I said before I went to the post office. I am beginning to hate the post office. The clerks there are really friendly and nice and helpful. They always ask how Adam is and give me a deal when they can. It's hardly ever too busy in there and there are always friendly people in line. So why do I hate the post office you might ask? Every time I go there I am reminded of how far away Adam is and how much I miss him. It's like 25 minutes of intense missing Adam. I try not to be grumpy about it and be happy I am sending him stuff and usually that cheers me up. But going to the post office is one of those reality checks that hits you really hard. There is no room for denial there.

Anyways I am also guilty of snapping at Adam...even though I was telling him how I feel, I did it in a way that hurt his feelings and I do feel bad about it. Sorry sweetheart.