Don't Worry! Be Happy!

Aww all my readers are so kind!

Adam and I are at my house in Wyoming and getting to spend some wonderful downtime together. This evening we used the tractor to drag the arena and it was wonderful. Calm, just me and Adam on the tractor, since no one else could fit on the tractor it was just the two of us, driving in circles. I know it sounds boring, but it was nice. Just a couple more days and then it is back to the grind stone.

We are enjoying our time here and seeing where the road takes us. We went to look at some colleges and have found a lot of places we would like to spend time and people who are fun to hang out with.

I think that we have a pretty blank slate to go anywhere and start anew. It is a weird feeling. We are pretty unrooted and have nothing to hold us down. Neither of us live close to family, or have a place we really call home, other than our boarding school.

It's a whole new world for us.

:)

So sick

I am so sick of lying to people. It is just not worth to hear whatever they have to say to me about what they think about it. So I don't tell them. I have whole list of people that I am regularly lying to. That's bad huh? It is mainly because I have a thing I am doing and I have thought about it and made up my mind. and there is F*** all anyone can say to change it. As frank as that is. Though keeping my stories straight is a work of art.

The only person I haven't really been lying to is Adam. This is mainly because he is with me every second of the day watching and consequently laying his head on my shoulder as I write this.

Really it is not exactly that I am always lying it is just sometimes I need to present a person that people can understand, interact with and get along with. Just because I don't exactly agree with their modus operendai doesn't mean I don't have to stop interacting with them entirely, just modify slightly their perception of me.

Anyways. Exhausted. Going to bed. Wish I could blog more, but I don't need to dig myself into a hole anyways. Very headstrong I am. Faith in the world that it will work itself out pervades me.

Best Friendness and stress....

So we are vacationing and we are visiting my best friend Issa in San Fransico. I typically don't like California, it is just not my style. However both of us are loving it here. We love the convienence of the city, and being around good friends is wonderful.

I have been reading posts as well. I read SidLovely's post and I have to say I agree with her about just being away from the writing. My heart goes out her about the hard times where you feel helpless. I am doing a lot of self-searching. Being here lets me see what living techniques my friends have to make their lives run smoother. For me I see living as a collaborative effort, it is comforting to know some of my friends are in the same sort of space I am in. Especially with losing the time to do anything you want without thinking about the effect that it has on the other person. It is funny Issa and I discussed last night that some of the issues that we were having were classic, typical problems that many couples complain about. Seems somethings don't seem to change.


Adjusting is coming back from Iraq is interesting and I want to keep you updated on the adjustments we are making, but unfortunately, most of it is just so gosh durn personal I don't really think it would be fair for me to guinea pig Adam like that. I will say that loud noises just don't sit well with him. Not that they really did before anyways.

I would say my adjustments are easier to talk about, mostly it is strange not gluing myself to my computer screen. I feel like I want reply and give heartfelt meaningful input, but literally as I write this Adam is doing his best to distract me.... So I regret that fact that I haven't had the time to really in-depth response. Part of me wonders if people want other people imposing their will (read: opinion on their blog spaces). I mean people didn't really ask for my opinion or advice. I mean want people to comment and leave opinions, but just because I do, doesn't other people want me to...

I didn't comment about the stress, but I really don't have time because I don't think Adam is going to stop trying to distract me....

Meaning

I have been meaning to write but lately I have been just falling into bed at night. Once Adam gets home from work we fill our days with stuff right up until bed time. Not always important stuff (like America's Best Dance Crew is on tonight), but still.

It is a lot of work to live with someone when you are used to living alone. We are working on cooking together and fortunately, we have a grill and that has made cooking and cleaning a lot easier. I think what I miss the most is "down time". When I was alone I could take a minute almost whenever I wanted to, sit and zone out, or watch tv and zone out. Now I am constantly aware of where Adam is and what he is doing ALL THE TIME. When he is at work I try to do that stuff that he doesn't like or I have to be alone to do. When he is around we try to get errands done or do fun stuff. Even if I sit to zone out or watch TV I feel this pull of the fact that he is around and I could be with him. I am wondering if this will wear off.

Right now we do things together even when we could do them apart because I think the deployment-ness has not worn off yet. If I can be with him I feel like I should and if I am not I want to be, so it is really weird. I am still working with it.

One of the things that has become my new compulsion is going with him to work and doing work at the library or in the car while he is in formation or like today he is moving stuff for two hours. For some reason I am like 100 times more productive if I am away from my house. It's insane.

Speaking of the other type of meaning full stuff that is happening, yesterday we decided to go to breakfast at Denny's and Adam was on stdby so he was in outfit. So once we were done eating we were told by the waitress that table next to us had paid for our breakfast. We both were dumbfounded. I mean Adam tells me about this stuff happening, but until it happens to you it is a little shocking. That was nice of them. When it happens you are grateful, but in an awkward, self concious way. By the time the waitress has told us they had left. So we had no one to be self concious to, but us.

I will say, it does "warm your heart" so to speak and make you want to be nice to other people and in that way I hope I can do something nice for someone, and hope they feel as appreciated as we did.

Adventure...

So today we went on aforementioned adventure. It was promising to be pretty tame until Butthead decided to make it less tame. Our instructor was cool, it was pretty slow going in the beginning because we had to go over several safety briefings, mostly about how NOT to tip over. We had 3 other women, 2 of whom were friends and the other lady was new to the area. Then there was a guy with a strange hard to pronounce name who told us we could call him "Vik".

So off we paddle. We start to paddle past where the ferry boats dock. Well they were trying to dock and we were sort of in the way so we paddled like crazy to get out of the way. Turns out where we were resting was a different ferry boat dock! So we paddled like crazy again their horns blowing at us. We make it to the park and eat lunch. It was yummy and then we hung out and waited for the tides to change a little so it would be an easier ride back. We paddle back past the ferry place, this time the ferries were out doing their ferry thing.

Well I was joking around with Adam saying that he is always a trouble maker and always "rocked the boat" and in symmetry with the joke he starts rocking his kayak back and forth, and one of the other ladies says if he doesn't watch it he will really tip. Just as I nodded in agreement, Adam tipped himself over into the 52 degree waters of the sound. BRR! Well he remember his safety demo and freed himself from his boat and popped up out of the water with the most surprised look on his face. I just cracked up, I started laffing so hard i could barely stay upright in my own boat. He is sputtering and scrambling trying to get back in the boat, I am laffing and laffing ((I laffed so hard the other people on the trip felt sry for the butthead)). SO our instructor paddled over and got Adam back into his kayak and away we went. On this trip we saw dolphins (I think they were porpoises not dolphins) Seals, I saw a start fish, and some of the people on the trip saw a sea otter. We met one person who might could be a friend.

I did something really silly myself. I ferociously guarded Adam and sprayed him with sunblock every chance I got, but for some reason on the way home I only respray ONE of my arms with sun block. So one of my arms got really badly sunburnt... It's stupid I know. We took lots of pictures, once we have them developed mayeb we can scan em and put em up.

More adventures later, I have a lot to write about but I am just so doggone tired at the end of the day. There is this woman who I sold some yarn to who is being a real jerk and I hope she is not spreading "bad pr" and difficult stuff about me in my group on my knitting website. I got so worked up about it when I saw how rude she had been that Adam forbade me to look at it, but tomorrow I have to face the music. I told her something that someone told me, and I had gotten it out of context and I didn't know that. I didn't know i wasn't supposed to tell anyone else. SOo trying to sell this yarn I told her what i had been told. Turns out I wasn't exactly right and this woman is using it against me to say I am a liar and it is jsut turning into this mini night mare. I have been worrying about it all weekend. I am really frustrated, I was depending on the person who told me that the info was good and usable and it wasn't so I am mad about trusting the first person, and telling the second. ARG! Adam keeps telling me it's no big deal but it has been eating at me all weekend. I just cant seem to push it out of my head. :(

Night all --- so very tired

The Prius

So Adam's Mom was nice enough to get Adam a Prius as a homecoming gift. When he went to register it on base they said he needed an emissions test. He tried to explain the them that it was a hybrid and a partial zero emissions vehicle, and that you couldn't test it. They refused and gave him a temp pass. So there are like 5 of these silly testing centers in the whole state of Washington. So we drove around for a while trying to find the place and we passed a car crash on I-5 as we were headed I-5 north. SO we drive around and we find the emissions test place and we wait in line. We get up to the testing place. and they say, "We can't test priuses, they are a partial zero emission vehicle." We were like can we get a piece of paper saying its cool with you so we can register the car on base? They sent us to talk to the lady inside. Well she couldn't find the memos that they usually give out. She said that they had told the army a bunch of times that the Priuses don't need state emissions tests. She gave us her card and told us to have them call the office and they would tell them again.

So we drove all the way out there.... to get a business card. *suppresses profanities here* So on the way back, remember the car accident. Yeah we sat in traffic for 45 minutes to move 3 miles. We decided to get off and go to a movie. We gave up.

On a much brighter note we signed up for a sea kayaking trip on Sunday. We signed up for it at the Northwest Adventure Center (provided by the MWR). We are trying to make more friends so that Jenna doesn't go crazy. I can't seem to get Adam to invite Schultz and his girly over for dinner. It is like polar magnets. Whatever. The price was really reasonable. :)

Have a great Forth!