Someone asked me today if I was excited. I am. Sort of. I was super insane over the top excited about 30 -35 days ago. Now I am just here and happy to be here but in a little bit of shock. Adam called today from the big K and I was happy to hear that he was safe, but at the same time, there was nothing he could really talk about and he had nothing to do. I talked at him for a little while and while I was chatting with him I bent down to look at some silverware and some how popped my knee out. I tried to pop it back in by straightening it and it really hurt for a second and then it seemed better. I am not sure what I did, but man it hurts like hell! Now it is sore and hurts to bend. If i stand on it straight it is fine, but if I move and bend (like to sit down or to get up or to get out of the car) OWIE! :( Not good.
I wish I could tell you about the count down, but I can't and that makes sense. So yeah. Pam leaves tomorrow, and my stepmom is coming to visit with my other sister. I very affectionately call my step mother my smother. It will be good to see her.
I bought curtains today. They are gold and I love them and I hope Adam likes them. I kept handing off the phone today after I hobbled myself because it is super awkward to shop and talk on the phone you can't tslk about anything personal. Finally, I kind of told the butt head I had to go, and that was kind of sad for him, but there is nothing else I can do for him here and now.
I am a little worried because I do feel kind of dull to him coming home and I am wondering what is wrong with me??? I think it is because he won't truly be mine until everyone leaves, or I wonder if I am just suppressing all my feelings about everything right now? It is very surprising to me that I am so blank. I feel really lost. Really lost, when I am awake I want to be sleeping and when I am sleeping I constantly wake up. I don't know what the problem is. I think it is that everyone is coming and going and I am thankful for all the support I just need some quiet time with my thoughts. I think I am just going to get my stepmom a hotel room, then I will be alone in my apartment but not too alone. It is so weird that I am on overload because I was living by myself with no friends for so long. Anyways, we will see how I feel in the next couple of days. So weird. Night.
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2 comments:
Ow! Hope your knee feels better soon. That sounds painful.
Oh..and about my pics. Yeah..it's kind of hard to smile and work the camera at the same time, but also I feel I tend to look a bit goofy when I'm doing self-portrait smiles. Ha ha
Ouch! Your knee probably is out of whack due to the long driving. Sounds very painful! Get thee to a doctor silly!
Your feelings sound similar to mine. I'm nervous about his R&R and that's not til October! I guess its a little weird not knowing what its going to be like. I would imagine I would feel the same way.
Hang in there. Hugs!
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